— duplicity inbox ↻ un:dipshit

[messenger]

this is castiel. leave your message here.

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Comments

[messenger]

i was only human for three months
so i have a lot to learn
it can be difficult cohabiting, especially since im not human now
but im being forced to live like one

[bakudan_bambino]

alright

I have no idea what that’s like

What makes it difficult?

[messenger]

well, i don't sleep, or eat
or experience emotions the same way that you do
social cues often elude me
things like how much personal space is appropriate
or how to greet someone
a "high-five" is a standard greeting but i've never been sure the appropriate context, for instance

[bakudan_bambino]

that sucks

Personal space is usually at an arms length without having to strain to hear a discussion or yell to project during conversation. Being within another’s personal space is indicative of familiarity, trust, intimacy, and comfort.

High-fives are friendly or jovial, so would be unacceptable during business, where most will nod, shake hands, or bow.

[messenger]

i've been told i have a habit of standing too close. i try to remember, but it's easy to forget

do you do a lot of business here?

[bakudan_bambino]

Maybe try holding out your hand for a shake and keep that as a guide for your personal space.

This will show that you are considerate.

I guess I do a fair amount… hand shakes are also suitable for introductions, same as a bow (bowing is common where I’m from in Japan)

[messenger]

i'll do that
i like to look at people up close
but it isn't necessary

i see. i've given handshakes before

[ does he know how to give a proper handshake? no. ]

[bakudan_bambino]

In moments where you feel compelled to look at someone up close, greet them first and then you can focus on a part of them you'd like to look at.

Say for example I want to get a better look at your face, and feel cmopelled to be in your space, I will say something like 'what color are your eyes' and then lean in to get a better look. That ways the person I'm trying to get a better look of knows why I am in their space. Just know, if you don't ask permission, and barge right in, you won't always be well-received.

you can demonstrate what you know to be a handshake on me when we see each other next?

[messenger]

[ it's a lot to take in, but he'll do his best. ]

okay.
is that what you do?

[bakudan_bambino]

is what what I do?

[messenger]

when you want to be close to someone? is that the strategy you use?
you seem friendly with a lot of people so maybe you don't have to?

[bakudan_bambino]

No

I don’t feel the need to look at people up close.

It’s different for each person. Typically it’s on the network first, rather than being in person.

Sometimes I will buy them a drink and ask how they are, learn more about them.

I feel like everyone here has a different story to tell, and I like learning about things. I like to get genuinely interested y’know…

Never gonna know how long they’ll be around for.

So I’m taking a lot of time just being grateful.

[messenger]

i see

[ 💬💬💬 ]

i think i can understand, at least a little
i've been around for so long
and i'll outlive everyone i know
most of the time, i don't feel it's fair to get involved, particularly with my duties to consider
it makes me a poor friend because i can't really be around
things are different here, but i'm not sure how different

[bakudan_bambino]

Maybe because there are many other non humans and there’s no way of knowing if it will be you or them that leaves first among the humans. It puts us all on equal footing in Duplicity in a way.

I would rather love and lose someone than never get to meet them and enjoy being close to them.

[messenger]

yes. it changes things. although, i'll still outlive everyone, presumably. and i'm still an angel.

have you loved a lot of people romantically? or are you speaking of platonic love?

[ or both? ]

it's something i've always found remarkable
the human capacity for love

[bakudan_bambino]

There's no outliving anyone in Duplicity, but you're right. I know you're still an angel.

Both.

Are angels incapable of it?

[messenger]

we aren't meant to feel at all
i do, after spending time on earth in a vessel, but human emotion is different
it's more powerful and immediate
and overwhelming

[bakudan_bambino]

So you have intense human emotions now and aren't sure how to handle or even identify them?

[messenger]

i don't know how to handle and identify them as they are
but like i said, i'm still an angel
as long as i have my grace (my power) they remain somewhat... muted compared to the alternative
but i lost my grace once, and was briefly mortal
in that time, i felt their full intensity
i didn't enjoy it

[bakudan_bambino]

Oh, well then it's good you have your power?

[messenger]

yes
i can't do much without it
i could barely survive and i was too afraid to fight

[bakudan_bambino]

Does it do anythng else?

[messenger]

well, it makes me what i am, essentially
of course, i'll never stop being an angel, even without my grace
but it connects me to my true form, and in some sense is my true form— or at least a part of it
it's what makes me immortal and impervious to mundane damage
it's the reason i don't have to eat or sleep
and gives me access to all of my powers
it's the closest thing i have to a soul

[bakudan_bambino]

Interesting

[messenger]

unfiltered grace is also deadly
and my true form is, too
though i don't have any reason to shed my vessel at the moment