1. At liquor store. Drunk. Going to try not to get naked in public but can't make any promises.
2. Pornography has outtakes. Never have I laughed so hard while masturbating.
3. I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself or others... I can run the cash register at the Gas-n-Sip.
4. We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
5. The fact that I fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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2. Pornography has outtakes. Never have I laughed so hard while masturbating.
3. I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself or others... I can run the cash register at the Gas-n-Sip.
4. We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
5. The fact that I fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night