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teaching poetry to fish
supernatural
CANON
angel
SPECIES
360m~4.5bn+
AGE
male/angel
SEX/GENDER
gay/questioning
SEXUALITY
INTRODUCTION
Castiel is an Angel of the Lord, and one of Heaven's soldiers. He has existed and acted in this capacity at least since the first land animals began to evolve, although it's likely he's been alive for much longer than this.
During the first stages leading up to the Biblical apocalypse, Castiel is tasked with raising The Righteous Man, Dean Winchester, from Hell. After completing this task, he's given the order to assist Dean in his tasks from Heaven, ostensibly to prevent the breaking of the seals that would release Lucifer. At the time unbeknownst to Castiel, the seals are foretold to be broken, and it's in truth Heaven's duty to set the apocalypse into motion. When he learns this, he initially continues to follow orders, but after gradually becoming closer to Dean, Dean is able to convince him to rebel in order to save humanity.
During the first stages leading up to the Biblical apocalypse, Castiel is tasked with raising The Righteous Man, Dean Winchester, from Hell. After completing this task, he's given the order to assist Dean in his tasks from Heaven, ostensibly to prevent the breaking of the seals that would release Lucifer. At the time unbeknownst to Castiel, the seals are foretold to be broken, and it's in truth Heaven's duty to set the apocalypse into motion. When he learns this, he initially continues to follow orders, but after gradually becoming closer to Dean, Dean is able to convince him to rebel in order to save humanity.
PERSONALITY
warning: mentions of violence and suicidal ideation
godspeed to anyone who reads this whole thing it's so fucking long lmfao
When he's first introduced, Castiel is all intensity. A wild force of nature, who seems to have little to no capacity for emotionβ besides, perhaps, annoyance. Which is understandable, given angels were not made to feel, and most rarely show more than frustration, derision, and perhaps faint amusement. It's his duty to Heaven that Castiel holds above all else, his mission which he believes is most important, and his love of and loyalty to God his main motivator. However, despite his stoicism, he does have a broad sense of appreciation for life on Earth, where by contrast most other angels seem to resent humanity. Some go so far as to even look on them as vermin. (Uriel, in particular, uses the pejoratives "mud monkey" and "larva" when referring to humans, whereas Castiel once calls them "beautiful".) This sympathy for humanity is ultimately what leads to his Fall from Heaven as (unwittingly) orchestrated by Dean Winchester.
Castiel is taciturn, brusque, and literal. He doesn't engage in frivolities, takes himself and his duties very seriously, and will do whatever necessary to see them done. He's also confident in his ability to do this, rarely shows hesitation in the face of danger, and has a healthy sense of pride to boot.
He's also incredibly awkward, naΓ―ve, and rude when interacting with human beings. He has no practical knowledge of humanity, and limited information on modern culture. Over time he becomes more accustomed to interacting with people and living on Earth, which I'll address in more detail below, although even by the end of the series he hasn't entirely integrated socially, suggesting that some of his behavior must simply be inborn.
SEASON4&5
Despite his inexperience with humans, he quickly becomes attached to Dean after they meet, responding to Dean's great capacity for empathy before he even truly understands he is now developing the ability to feel. He is punished for this attachment by Heaven, but when Dean is given no choice but to take part in the apocalypse, he entreaties Castiel, convincing him that saving humanity is the right thing to do, and Castiel finally rebels, ultimately sacrificing himself to allow Dean the chance to escape.
After Falling, Castiel loses his connection to Heaven, and his powers begin to wane, over time rendering him more and more human. At this point, his emotional growth is gradual. He displays agitation and self-loathing over his situation, and can be quite erratic and short tempered, though never more so than when God rejects his pleas for help. It's then he falls into his first major depressive episode, drinking and displaying unpredictable behavior.
SEASON 6
But it isn't until after the apocalypse has been averted that his personality experiences its greatest shift: After being brought back to life by God (again), and bestowed with new, literally God-given, powers, he believes he has been chosen by his Father to restore Heaven to glory, and his growing sense of pride becomes the petard on which he inevitably hoists himself. His initially good intentions to pass on free will to the angels and prevent Raphael from starting the apocalypse over again is twisted when he works with Crowley, a demon, in order to secure power for himself, lying to Sam and Dean about his actions in the process. When Sam and Dean discover and react negatively to his duplicity, he comes to feel it is a betrayal. This pushes him toward making some truly heinous decisions which eventually culminate in his taking the power he intended to use to defeat Raphael (which he does) and use it to become a new, self-fashioned God, either in a bid to please his Father, out of a desire to do the job he feels his father has failed at, or perhaps both. He also expresses a need to be loved and worshiped, which while tied to his sin of pride, also seems to suggest Castiel harbors a deep loneliness.
The corruption caused by this power eventually results in the deaths of innocents at his hand, and his horror at what he's done snaps him back to reality. He's able to shed this power (with Sam and Dean's help) and regain himself, but his self-inflicted trauma has a massively deleterious effect on his sense of self. What pride he'd found in being one of God's "favored" is turned back in on itself, replaced by an astronomical amount of self-loathing. The moodiness he once displayed becomes a full-blown depression, and his credence that his resurrections were due to being one of God's favored is tainted as he begins to instead believe they were punishments. To this end, he even goes so far as to, later, willingly trap himself in Purgatory as a form of self-flagellation.
From this moment on he goes to great lengths to make penance.
SEASON 7~12
Regrettably, despite all of Castiel's best efforts, his attempts to fix Heaven in the aftermath of the destruction he wrought are thwarted, always despite his best intentions. Likewise, his attempts to help Sam and Dean generally refuse to bear fruit. It becomes something of a pattern: His failures lead to attempts at correcting them, which then go wrong and lead to more failures, etc. This results in a continued drain in his remaining confidence, his last residual self-worth chipped away at over time until nothing remains.
Eventually, he comes to believe that his only worth is to be found in his usefulness. This incites yet more cycles of trauma.
Heaven brainwashes him, after retrieving him from Purgatory, and uses him to violent ends. A situation he eventually breaks free from, but not without more damage to his sense of self.
He then attempts to close Heaven's gates (and potentially give himself over to the angels for execution) but instead is tricked by another angel, Metatron, who strips him of his grace and uses it to cast all the angels from Heaven, killing many and displacing the rest.
During this time, he is briefly mortal again, and lives a normal, human life and works a normal, human job. It's also implied but not confirmed that he gains a soul. (The lore on this is incredibly unclear, considering Castiel was previously described as having become human during the end of Season 5, but in the beginning of Season 6, when he's been fully powered up again, claims that as an angel he has no soul. It's possible that reacquiring their grace destroys or consumes an angel's soul when they're no longer mortal.) Although the extent of how this affects him is unclear. It's also implied that being human allows him to feel more than he would as an angel, but we know by the end of the series that he is completely capable of the full range of human emotion. Does being human expedite this process? Does it allow him to feel his emotions more acutely? It is possible, but never confirmed.
In any case, his time as a mortal does teach him to better value humanity and the hardships of day to day living. But a short time later, he becomes an angel again, and a human life becomes just one more task he's failed at.
After this, he dedicates himself to hunting down Metatron and returning the remaining angels to Heaven so they can't sow yet more chaos on Earth. And while he eventually succeed in these tasks, his victories aren't without sacrifice. Many have died. And by this point in time most of the angels have come to harbor great resentment toward him. Metatron also succeeds in killing Dean (if only temporarily), which is a gutting failure.
But even once Dean is revived, Metatron's threat neutralized, and the angels returned to their rightful place, Castiel can't rest. Dean, who had borne the Mark of Cain (a dangerous, ancient curse) for quite some time, is finally freed of its effects— but a powerful primordial entity is released as a consequence, known as the Darkness. After trying and failing to deal with this threat by their usual means, Sam and Dean attempt to contact and use Lucifer. During this confrontation, without their knowledge, Castiel consents to being Lucifer's vessel, certain that it could be the only way to defeat the Darkness, and moreover that he is expendable. He's fully willing to make this sacrifice, believing that he has no contribution to offer simply as himself.
Lucifer is not the key to defeating the Darkness, unfortunately, and so when Lucifer leaves his body and escapes, Castiel shoulders the responsibility of hunting him down and neutralizing him.
Which leads to the events explained in the next section.
SEASON 13~15
There is one last major shift in character that Castiel undergoes: At the end of Season 12, while he's attempting to dispatch Lucifer's unborn Nephilim son so Sam and Dean won't have to suffer the blood of innocents on their hands, he's touched by the Nephilim, Jack's, powers. He's greatly affected by this event, and is immediately beset with a deep loyalty toward this unborn child, as he comes to harbor the belief that Jack will be able to bring about paradise. Dean believes Castiel has been brainwashed.
The thing is, Cas is desperate for anything that could possibly better the world — and his and his friends' lives. After his long string of failures, it's easy to see how he views Jack as a reprieve, a last chance. Where he failed, time and time again, Jack may yet succeed and grant them some peace.
Castiel dies shortly after Jack is born, only to be revived months later. Jack chooses Cas as his parent (alongside Sam and Dean), and Cas tries his best to fulfill this role, although he's often absent due to other responsibilities taking precedence. There is a time when the four of them operate as a mostly functioning family unit, though, and it's possibly the most content any of them have been for a very long time. Unfortunately, this tentative, hopeful future is short-lived. Jack dies and is then revived (at the cost of Castiel making a deal with the Empty, a primordial being, whereby he agrees to be taken by the Empty in place of Jack at the moment when he finally allows himself to be happy). Then Jack loses his soul. These events all have ripple effects that cause greater tragedies to occur, and Castiel incurs yet more trauma.
It should also be noted that he asks Jack not to tell Sam and Dean about his deal with the Empty, because (in his own words) he doesn't want them to be burdened.
This is the deal, of course, that finally kills him.
SAM&DEAN
Obviously, he comes to care greatly for Sam and Dean during the events of the apocalypse. He becomes quite quickly attached to Dean in particular, confessing to him that he has doubts after only a few episodes, and only slightly past the halfway point in Season 4 admitting to Dean that he would "do anything not to have him [torture Alastair]" when Heaven demands it. He falls in the span of just a year, motivated by Dean's insistence that people matter during what would have been their last meeting, and becoming clearly shaken when Dean dean calls him a coward.
While he can initially be quite hard on the both of them, even openly blaming them in Season 5 for allowing the apocalypse to go on unchecked despite his sacrifices, after the apocalypse is averted due to their selflessness in owning up to their mistakes, he now treats them both with unshakable loyalty. (It isn't that he's harsh out of cruelty, but rather he holds himself and others to very high standards. Later, he comes to learn through his own mistakes how to be more understanding of others'.) Despite being in the middle of a civil war in Heaven in Season 6, he always comes when they call (he even insists to this to Dean, at one point), and attends to their needs when he can. Sam is now no longer "the boy with the demon blood", but a close, trusted friend. (Castiel goes so far as to pull him out of Hell in season 6, much as he did for Dean in Season 4, despite the danger.)
The relationship he has with Dean in particular metamorphoses from something emotionally charged and full of potential into a deep friendship built on mutual understanding.
This, of course, shatters when Castiel betrays Sam and Dean in Season 6, and is yet one more reason that Cas goes to such great lengths to find absolution, and in fact promises Dean that he'll redeem himself to him. When Dean finally does forgive Castiel for his wrongdoings, their relationship has become something far, far more complex— Indeed, this forgiveness is immediately proceeded by Dean and Castiel's stint in Purgatory, where Dean 1. Prays to Castiel every night while searching for him, 2. Insists once he does find him that either Castiel will escape with him or neither of them will, 3. Once freed, without Castiel, convinces himself that he let Castiel go, and that it's his fault, even though Cas remained both to punish himself and to make certain that Dean would be saved.
Their insistence on forgiving each other no matter how much they've hurt each other sets a precedent that maintains itself through the length of the story. Continually, Castiel puts himself and his causes and even the greater good aside for Dean. Castiel breaks the Angel Tablet to save Dean, despite its great power and importance to the angels; Castiel allows Dean to beat him bloody and nearly kill him because he refuses to harm him even when he's under the influence of the Mark of Cain; Castiel breaks Donatello's, a friend's, mind when he harms Dean after being corrupted; Castiel beats a helpless Metatron until he's bloody and broken for manipulating him and killing Dean; Castiel tortures at a command from Dean. He even argues with Jack, his adoptive son, when Dean is possessed by Michael, insisting that Dean must be saved at all costs when Jack rightly points out that they must kill Michael no matter what in order to save the Earth.
And this loyalty also eventually extends to Dean's family. Castiel, after unsinking the Titanic, re-sinks it in order to save Sam and Dean from being killed by Atropos, resulting in the deaths of 50,000 people (although Castiel does attempt to reason that they've simply never been born, one wonders if he really believes this based on his weighted hesitation before speaking); Castiel kills a reaper Sam and Dean made a deal with in order to save either of them or their mother from having to give up their lives despite the likelihood of terrible consequences for this action; Castiel admits to another angel, when chasing down Lucifer's unborn Nephilim son and his mother, that he no longer cares about his reputation in Heaven, and merely wishes to prevent Sam or Dean from having to be the one to do the awful task of killing them.
Perhaps it's no surprise to learn Castiel falls deeply in love with Dean. Castiel is able to empathize with Dean in a way that he has never been able to empathize with anyone before, even from the very beginning. Likewise, Dean understands him in a way no one else can. They bond over a shared trauma with regard to their "deadbeat dads" and the way they've been treated as disposable tools for enacting violence, with Dean often drawing parallels between their fathers. This compassion that lights between them is what allows Castiel to become more than the sum of his parts and break free from his stagnant narrative.
Castiel and Dean also simply enjoy each others' company. They are best friends, in Dean's own words. They enjoy spending their free time together, as rare as it is that they're able to do so. They watch movies and television together, Dean shares his music with Cas, and they even eat and drink together despite Cas' inability to taste and alcohol's lack of effect on him.
Further, the faith Castiel loses in God over the course of the story is replaced instead by his faith in Dean, after Dean shows his willingness to sacrifice everything for the greater good while God watches from the sidelines. Miraculously, he doesn't put Dean upon a pedestal despite this, at least not in the sense that he expects perfection from him. Castiel saw Dean at his worst the very moment he met him, when Dean was torturing souls in Hell, after falling to his very lowest. And yet he saw something in Dean even then. He's able to accept and understand Dean's flaws and always forgive his sins, no matter how great they are. Through all the conflict forced upon them by outside sources, (and particularly after the character growth he goes through post-Season 6) he is able to extend a generous amount of patience and kindness toward Dean. He does everything in his power to reach out to him when he feels it's possible for him to make some positive impact, whether that means spending time with him, talking to him about his burdens in an attempt to lighten them, or taking on thankless tasks in his place. His love is all-encompassing and unconditional. Dean extends the same generosity. Even though it may take him longer to work his way through his feelings and find his way to forgiveness, he always offers Castiel the absolution he desires. He loves Castiel, and considers him his family, and Castiel finds some little peace in this.
But their relationship also quickly becomes codependent as a result, and codependency breeds toxicity.
Because Dean is equally self-sacrificial, they often fight about what to do in a scenario. Likewise, Cas is willing to go to any lengths necessary to keep Dean alive, sometimes even against Dean's wishes, and justifies doing so by adopting the belief that Dean is so truly good for the world that by protecting him he is de facto fighting for the greater good (which causes him, as mentioned before, to often set aside the greater good for Dean's sake). This consequentially amplifies his self-harming, self-sacrificial nature, by giving him further purpose to righteously hurt himself, since he believes Dean is worth much more than he is. For this same reason, Castiel will go out of his way to do difficult, dangerous tasks so that the brothers aren't "burdened", or correspondingly hide his own troubles. This results in him not only putting himself in unnecessary danger, but also in being absent from their lives and/or keeping secrets from them. Dean is often hurt by this. He feels that he is being rejected when Castiel is absent, as he has often been discarded by his loved ones, which results in conflict between them. Unfortunately, Castiel also fears overstaying his welcome and summarily being rejected by Dean, so when Dean lashes out he often feels his fears have been confirmed, and that his presence is merely a burden.
Because they are both so entrenched in these harmful mindsets, the cycle never ends.
Castiel always has the best intentions. That's never more true than it is regarding Dean. He wants nothing more than for Dean to have a good and full life. But they're both at the mercy of a world that never once pauses in its assault on their sense of self-esteem, so that they're simply never granted the chance to better themselves. Instead, their only option is to fight tooth and nail to keep what they have or lose everything.
Castiel's relationship with Sam is more straightforward. They are close friends, even best friends by Dean's definition, and consider each other family. It's not just Dean's love of the world, but Dean's love for Sam, that causes Castiel to see that humanity has worth, even though it takes him a while to warm up to Sam because of Sam's demon-related extracurricular activities. Once he does, though, he's willing to kill and die for Sam the same as he does for Dean.
CORE PERSONALITY
Castiel is self-sacrificing almost as a rule, even from the very beginning. It seems to be almost "hard coded" into his personality, although it's likely a side-effect of the way rank and file angels are treated as disposable objects by their superiors (and even God himself). He has been dehumanized this way for all of his very, very long existence.
Castiel dies many times throughout the series. Most of these deaths are sacrifices. (His first death is a conscious sacrifice, to allow Dean time to stop Sam from opening the final seal to release Lucifer. Likewise, his final death is a conscious sacrifice, to allow Dean to go on living.) He also constantly takes risks that don't but could result in his death, such as when trying to warn Dean about what the angels are really up to during the apocalypse before he's taken to Heaven and tortured, or choosing in Season 9 to become an angel again by taking the grace of another angel, even knowing that when this foreign grace burns out it will kill him. He also serves himself up in ways that are completely unnecessary, such as when he offers to go to Dean's death with him, simply to accompany him in his last moments. While he'll fight tooth and nail when placed in life or death situations, and claw his way back from death to return to those he loves (When trapped in the Empty, he insists his family needs him, and this appears to be his main motivation to escape) there is never a time when he is not incredibly reckless with his own life, and from the end of Season 6 onward, he believes that experiencing suffering and even potentially his death is necessary for him to make penance.
In this way, he seems to subconsciously seek death. As an act of penance, a release from the life he feels he's failed, or both. (Notably, he does mention to Dean once, in Season 8, that he's afraid he might kill himself if he sees the damage he wrought in Heaven, which at the very least illustrates that although he may not always be actively suicidal, if he is in a low enough place he could consider it. The Empty also tells him, in Season 13, that he doesn't want to go back to living after reading his mind, which also seems to suggest that some part of him yearns to rest, even if he won't allow himself to give into it.)
He's a deeply self-destructive person.
Unsurprisingly, Castiel has terribly low self-esteem. Although unlike his self-sacrificing nature, this isn't something he begins with. He does demand a lot from himself, and he holds himself initially to very high standards. After he falls he's quite dismissive of his angelic nature, going as far as to take pot shots at himself over it, and later lashing out at Sam and Dean for their complicity in his loss of it. This perhaps heralds the change. But it's only after his betrayal that it truly sets in.
It doesn't take much extrapolation to understand he believes he's worthless. His willingness to sacrifice himself for the Winchesters makes it more than obvious. He calls himself "nothing". When Dean insists to Castiel that he isn't weak, Castiel simply doesn't respond. He often makes no effort to pursue friendships or relationships with other people, except in very rare cases when the desire crosses over with his sense of responsibility (as with Claire or Jack). He beats himself up endlessly over his own failures. When he's told that he's expendable, he believes it. His self esteem is so poor, in fact, that God goes so far as to call him "The Self-Hating Angel of Thursday".
This affects his relationships, as previously stated, but it also affects the rest of his life as well. He makes no attempt to pursue his own happiness, and does little to assuage his great loneliness. He has no hobbies, no real personal life of his own outside of Sam and Dean's sphere or the angels' abusive hold over him. He is incredibly isolated in this sense. He often hinges his self-worth on what he can do for Dean. In Season 12, when Dean is angry with him for once again leaving for a long time with no contact, Castiel admits that "[he] just needed to come back here with a win for [him]".
Unfortunately for Castiel, he never truly succeeds in the way that he wishes to until he's sacrificing his life for Dean for the very last time.
Although Castiel is very cold when he's introduced, he warms over the years, especially with Sam and Dean and the people they're friendly with, and others who he feels responsible for. (For example, in Season 5, he goes so far as to tell Dean that he has no faith in him, though granted he does apologize later. Several seasons after this, he's insisting to Dean that he's a good role model, despite Dean disagreeing with him and this possibly being objectively untrue. He also does things such as buying Claire a stuffed animal for her birthday, or making coffee at the bunker for Sam and Dean.) Other characters often liken him to the Winchesters' pet or attack dog, which isn't an entirely unsuitable description despite its derogatory nature. He is "tamed", in a manner, particularly by Dean's humanizing influence. Although his capacity for empathy is implied to be something inborn (according to Naomi's insistence that he is "cracked")— he's capable of being incredibly thoughtful, and ends up displaying a great capacity for kindness. (On one occasion, after helping Sam and Dean solve a case at an old folks home that involved an older friend of their fathers that results in said friend becoming catatonic, he chooses to stay behind several days to watch over him.)
Dean and Sam (and later, Jack), are his first priority, but he will go out of his way for those he feels responsible for no matter how tenuous their connection, and when he sees those in need, he will put forth his every effort to help them if he has the means.
He's emotionally honest in a way Sam and Dean usually aren't. He doesn't know to feel awkwardness or self-consciousness at plumbing others about their feelings or offering support, and so he doesn't. (Unlike Sam and Dean, who were both raised to be rather repressed about expressing their own emotions, although Sam isn't quite as bad about it as Dean is. There is a moment in Season 14, for example, where he coaxes Dean into admitting that he isn't fine with the current harrowing circumstances so he can offer his emotional support, and he does this several times throughout the series.) It's not always something he's particularly good at, but he does extend himself with a certain vulnerability. He can be quite sweet in this.
Contrarily, he doesn't have much emotional maturity when it comes to interpersonal relationships, owing to a long life lived in Heaven, where emotions were forbidden and outright denied. He also lacks self-awareness for the same reason, and that can lead him to acting in selfishly even when he believes he's acting in the best interests of other people. (He saves Claire, his vessel's daughter, from a bad situation, and he does genuinely wish to help her, but his driving motivation is assuaging his own guilt over what happened to her because of his actions.) He can become myopic and tunnel-visioned, especially when under duress. He's self-righteous, and also a bit of a hypocrite at times, capable of forgiving Sam and Dean for acts he would condemn others for without hesitation.
He also retains much of his pragmatism when applied to people and situations outside of his bubble. He's not above threatening, using violence, torturing, or killing to get what he wants if he believes he's justified in doing so. He will kill to prevent harm, even if the harm is unintentional. He on one occasion tortures a child (by touching their soul) to find the culprit who gave them a powerful weapon. Although he hesitates to kill innocents, he is the one who decides that Kelly Kline and her unborn child must die, and almost succeeds in sending them their to their deaths. He's also not above hurting the helpless if he feels they deserve it, if his assault on Metatron after Metatron has been made human is anything to go by. And he routinely threatens people with violence even if they absolutely don't deserve it, like when he picked up the cashier by the collar for not having any pie for Dean, or if he only thinks they deserve it and has no proof, such as on multiple occasions when Dean has to hold him back from assaulting suspects on cases. This can, on occasion, make his relationship with Sam and Dean very dangerous. It also makes him on his own very dangerous.
It wouldn't be inaccurate to say that he has his own unique brand of ethics. The term "blue and orange morality" may apply. Originally, like most angels, he prioritizes the bigger picture above all else because he has no other point of reference. And although his worldview is altered, he still has a tendency to think more broadly than either Sam or Dean. This often leads to him behaving in ways that imply he believes the ends justify the means, and sometimes arguing with them as a result. (Dean is not happy with Castiel for having to 'torture' a child for information, or for breaking Donatello's mind because he is a danger.) His hypocrisy also makes a return here, as he's not above doing things that he may condemn others for, like hurting the innocent. He may acknowledge this and feel guilt, but if he believes something must be done, he won't hesitate to do it.
Because Castiel has lived for so long, and because he is an inhuman creature, this tends to put him in a position where he subtly assumes moral superiority even though he has not earned it. His naivety and emotional immaturity can also play a role in twisting his intentions, as it causes him to act without necessarily understanding the full consequences of his actions (like when he pulled Claire from her foster home, assuming she would choose to accompany him, only for her to run away and put herself in danger). He can be reckless and refuse to think things through, or find himself getting swept up in his emotions (for instance, when he attempted to attack Lucifer unnecessarily despite knowing there's not a single thing he could do to hurt him).
The same naivety also imparts a certain purity to his actions, though. It can be difficult to blame him when he believes so completely in his causes, and doesn't see their pitfalls. He truly wishes to do good, and places a great emphasis on shouldering burdens so that others won't have to. He is also very serious about making penance when he makes mistakes.
This all leaves him in an unfortunate position, where he desires to bestow mercy and grace while also, in many ways, always remaining the pitiless soldier of God he's been from the beginning.
He's also awkward, blunt, and rude, both purposefully and accidentally, is more than a little bit sarcastic, and always maintains a sort of distance from humanity despite his regard for life. He misunderstands social cues, struggles with reading people, and is oftentimes pretty, as mentioned before, naive. He can be fairly dramatic and childish at times, too (pouting when Dean insults him or insulting him back just as pettily; rolling his eyes; refusing to set aside grudges; etc.). While he's still reserved even after his Fall, he is reactive, and occasionally explodes with emotion (for example, when he meets Gadreel and immediately begins screaming at him for ruining the world, despite Gadreel's current incarceration having nothing to do with that).
What's more, he has an unfathomable amount of unprocessed trauma. He experiences persistent occurrences of violence, abuse, and death. The experience of killing so many of his own kind, in particular, is responsible for a great majority of his anguish. It's also responsible for his nearly complete loss of self-esteem, which feeds into the following issue—
The violations of his bodily and personal autonomy that have occurred repeatedly over the course of his life, in particular during his time on Earth, leading to a weakening and sometimes even complete collapse of his self-ownership. He is used often, and often mercilessly. His enemies rip his self-determination away with either glee or indifference, viewing him as no more than an object. Such as the angels torturing him for trying to warn Sam and Dean in Season 4; Naomi brainwashing him, manipulating him, and torturing him in Season 8 (which included scenarios such as: Castiel being forced to kill Dean thousands of times in a training exercise meant to prepare him for the real thing; Castiel rescuing an angel from torture in a desperate bid to save at least one of his own kind, only for Naomi to force him to kill said angel; Naomi torturing and killing many innocents in order to catch Castiel when he runs from her influence.); Metatron manipulating him in Seasons 9 and 10 (in situations such as Metatron ripping Castiel's grace from him in order to render him human for the sake of his "story"; Metatron pretending to be Gabriel in order to offer Castiel the kind of familial affection that he's so hungry for, only to rip it away once Castiel realizes the lie; Metatron setting up Castiel with an angelic army only to humiliate him in front of them and take them as his own army; Metatron killing Dean and gloating to Castiel about his failure to save him.); Lucifer taking advantage of Castiel's weaknesses and possessing him, and then digging his claws in so deep that he no longer has any desire to even express his own autonomy; Rowena casting the Attack Dog spell on Castiel with the intention of having him kill Crowley, only to leave him in that state, in pain and slowly dying.
This is especially true of Heaven and his many adversaries, clearly— but his allies, despite their good intentions, often take advantage of his need to help and unintentionally confirm his feelings of worthlessness and lack of personal freedom. In particular, when either Sam or Dean are undergoing some trial that forces them to act in desperation, they have a tendency to ignore his needs. Throughout Season 6, Sam and Dean often ask for Cas' help despite that he's in the midst of commanding an army during Heaven's civil war. (Cas actually calls them out on their behavior, as do some other angels, although this will be one of the last times that this happens.) In Season 7, Dean is understandably still angry with Castiel for his betrayal in Season 6, but after Castiel experiences a mental break from taking Sam's affliction into his own mind, Dean goes as far as leaving the (now catatonic) Castiel in Meg's (a demon's) care, and later (when he's struggling with the mental fallout) telling him that "No one cares that [he's] broken". In Season 8, when Castiel is suffering from Naomi's brainwashing and flees with the Angel Tablet to protect himself, Dean takes this personally and completely rejects his apology despite being aware of the situation he was in. In Season 9, Sam is held hostage by an angel possessing him, who demands Dean kick out a now human Castiel. Dean, in his infinite wisdom /s, doesn't tell Castiel why he's forcing him out, leaving Castiel to assume he's no longer needed in his mortal state. After this he then struggles with homelessness. In Season 11, when Castiel allows Lucifer to possess him because of his feelings of uselessness, Sam insists that because it is his own choice, they should respect this decision, despite the obvious danger Lucifer poses to Cas (even after Sam summarily rejected Lucifer himself).
This continues Castiel's pattern of being used. Often in some way he holds himself responsible for what his enemies have done to him due to his weakened sense of self, while refusing to blame his loved ones even when they are culpable. (As an example, he shows great remorse for hurting Dean under the influence of the Attack Dog spell, but doesn't hold any ill will toward Dean for attacking him under the influence of the Mark of Cain. He also blames himself for Lucifer being freed after possessing him and goes to great lengths to remediate the problem. And so on.) His guilt then leads him to continue to search for ways to be useful, in order to confirm his autonomy— which results in his being used again and again. Of course, it's likely his desire to be useful is entrenched from his time in Heaven, or even perhaps a basic tenant of his psychology, and that even if he could slough off some of his self-blame he would still harbor the deep need to be affirmed in this manner.
His trauma then presents in a number of ways: as depression, a continued lowering of his self-esteem, fits of anxiety, and occasionally, rage-induced violence when something comes along to trigger it, (such as Metatron's gleeful ridicule). He does understand when he is being used, and harbors a great deal of sadness and anger over this. Unfortunately, he never learns to process his pain in a healthy way. While he can reconcile with the idea that he has been exploited, he still struggles to believe he does not deserve it. It's a conflicted, desperate, unending struggle.
It's also unsustainable.
OUTRO
Ultimately, Castiel wants nothing more to redeem himself, but he is so deeply entrenched in his own warped self-image that he's incapable of believing he deserves redemption no matter how much he pays for what he's done. There are glimmers of hope and lightness in his life, but these are often quickly snatched away from him. This doesn't stop him from acting for the greater good, but it does have a continued negative effect on his mental health. He is not a happy person, and struggles to believe that he deserves happiness at all. His only peace is to be found in Sam and Dean's familiar and comforting presence, but his self-hatred also complicates these relationships.
His longing for Dean and belief that Dean can't, or even shouldn't, reciprocate his feelings confuses matters even further. Castiel eventually comes to believe that the only way he could find happiness is to be with Dean (in a romantic sense), but he refuses to pursue it.
In the end, when Castiel and Dean are being hunted by Death (as in, the supernatural being), Castiel sacrifices himself for Dean after confessing his feelings, as it's the only thing he believes is capable of bringing him true happiness (necessary for him to trigger the deal with the Empty, which is what allows him to save Dean from Death). It's an example of the complex nature of his relationship with himself, that his greatest moment of triumph involves the ultimate self-sacrifice, and a confession that the recipient can't possibly, because of the nature of the situation, reciprocate. To gut himself completely is his last and final act of penance, and the only way he believes he can ever find, or even deserve, peace.
godspeed to anyone who reads this whole thing it's so fucking long lmfao
SUMMARYINTROCastiel, as an individual, begins as an — allegedly — blank slate who then metamorphoses into an incredibly damaged person bent on making amends for mistakes he was all but manipulated into enacting as a result of a narcissistic parent's neglect. He drives himself to ruin again and again because at his core he believes his pain and, further, death are the only adequate forms of penance obtainable to him. He does not forgive himself, nor does he believe he deserves happiness, despite attempts made to live at peace in the world alongside those he cares about. He seems to simply be waiting for the moment to come to complete his atonement, moving through the day to day with little interest in other things. He has all but given up on his own life, and his legacy is written in the language of self-sacrifice.
When he's first introduced, Castiel is all intensity. A wild force of nature, who seems to have little to no capacity for emotionβ besides, perhaps, annoyance. Which is understandable, given angels were not made to feel, and most rarely show more than frustration, derision, and perhaps faint amusement. It's his duty to Heaven that Castiel holds above all else, his mission which he believes is most important, and his love of and loyalty to God his main motivator. However, despite his stoicism, he does have a broad sense of appreciation for life on Earth, where by contrast most other angels seem to resent humanity. Some go so far as to even look on them as vermin. (Uriel, in particular, uses the pejoratives "mud monkey" and "larva" when referring to humans, whereas Castiel once calls them "beautiful".) This sympathy for humanity is ultimately what leads to his Fall from Heaven as (unwittingly) orchestrated by Dean Winchester.
Castiel is taciturn, brusque, and literal. He doesn't engage in frivolities, takes himself and his duties very seriously, and will do whatever necessary to see them done. He's also confident in his ability to do this, rarely shows hesitation in the face of danger, and has a healthy sense of pride to boot.
He's also incredibly awkward, naΓ―ve, and rude when interacting with human beings. He has no practical knowledge of humanity, and limited information on modern culture. Over time he becomes more accustomed to interacting with people and living on Earth, which I'll address in more detail below, although even by the end of the series he hasn't entirely integrated socially, suggesting that some of his behavior must simply be inborn.
Despite his inexperience with humans, he quickly becomes attached to Dean after they meet, responding to Dean's great capacity for empathy before he even truly understands he is now developing the ability to feel. He is punished for this attachment by Heaven, but when Dean is given no choice but to take part in the apocalypse, he entreaties Castiel, convincing him that saving humanity is the right thing to do, and Castiel finally rebels, ultimately sacrificing himself to allow Dean the chance to escape.
After Falling, Castiel loses his connection to Heaven, and his powers begin to wane, over time rendering him more and more human. At this point, his emotional growth is gradual. He displays agitation and self-loathing over his situation, and can be quite erratic and short tempered, though never more so than when God rejects his pleas for help. It's then he falls into his first major depressive episode, drinking and displaying unpredictable behavior.
SEASON 6
But it isn't until after the apocalypse has been averted that his personality experiences its greatest shift: After being brought back to life by God (again), and bestowed with new, literally God-given, powers, he believes he has been chosen by his Father to restore Heaven to glory, and his growing sense of pride becomes the petard on which he inevitably hoists himself. His initially good intentions to pass on free will to the angels and prevent Raphael from starting the apocalypse over again is twisted when he works with Crowley, a demon, in order to secure power for himself, lying to Sam and Dean about his actions in the process. When Sam and Dean discover and react negatively to his duplicity, he comes to feel it is a betrayal. This pushes him toward making some truly heinous decisions which eventually culminate in his taking the power he intended to use to defeat Raphael (which he does) and use it to become a new, self-fashioned God, either in a bid to please his Father, out of a desire to do the job he feels his father has failed at, or perhaps both. He also expresses a need to be loved and worshiped, which while tied to his sin of pride, also seems to suggest Castiel harbors a deep loneliness.
The corruption caused by this power eventually results in the deaths of innocents at his hand, and his horror at what he's done snaps him back to reality. He's able to shed this power (with Sam and Dean's help) and regain himself, but his self-inflicted trauma has a massively deleterious effect on his sense of self. What pride he'd found in being one of God's "favored" is turned back in on itself, replaced by an astronomical amount of self-loathing. The moodiness he once displayed becomes a full-blown depression, and his credence that his resurrections were due to being one of God's favored is tainted as he begins to instead believe they were punishments. To this end, he even goes so far as to, later, willingly trap himself in Purgatory as a form of self-flagellation.
From this moment on he goes to great lengths to make penance.
SEASON 7~12
Regrettably, despite all of Castiel's best efforts, his attempts to fix Heaven in the aftermath of the destruction he wrought are thwarted, always despite his best intentions. Likewise, his attempts to help Sam and Dean generally refuse to bear fruit. It becomes something of a pattern: His failures lead to attempts at correcting them, which then go wrong and lead to more failures, etc. This results in a continued drain in his remaining confidence, his last residual self-worth chipped away at over time until nothing remains.
Eventually, he comes to believe that his only worth is to be found in his usefulness. This incites yet more cycles of trauma.
Heaven brainwashes him, after retrieving him from Purgatory, and uses him to violent ends. A situation he eventually breaks free from, but not without more damage to his sense of self.
He then attempts to close Heaven's gates (and potentially give himself over to the angels for execution) but instead is tricked by another angel, Metatron, who strips him of his grace and uses it to cast all the angels from Heaven, killing many and displacing the rest.
During this time, he is briefly mortal again, and lives a normal, human life and works a normal, human job. It's also implied but not confirmed that he gains a soul. (The lore on this is incredibly unclear, considering Castiel was previously described as having become human during the end of Season 5, but in the beginning of Season 6, when he's been fully powered up again, claims that as an angel he has no soul. It's possible that reacquiring their grace destroys or consumes an angel's soul when they're no longer mortal.) Although the extent of how this affects him is unclear. It's also implied that being human allows him to feel more than he would as an angel, but we know by the end of the series that he is completely capable of the full range of human emotion. Does being human expedite this process? Does it allow him to feel his emotions more acutely? It is possible, but never confirmed.
In any case, his time as a mortal does teach him to better value humanity and the hardships of day to day living. But a short time later, he becomes an angel again, and a human life becomes just one more task he's failed at.
After this, he dedicates himself to hunting down Metatron and returning the remaining angels to Heaven so they can't sow yet more chaos on Earth. And while he eventually succeed in these tasks, his victories aren't without sacrifice. Many have died. And by this point in time most of the angels have come to harbor great resentment toward him. Metatron also succeeds in killing Dean (if only temporarily), which is a gutting failure.
But even once Dean is revived, Metatron's threat neutralized, and the angels returned to their rightful place, Castiel can't rest. Dean, who had borne the Mark of Cain (a dangerous, ancient curse) for quite some time, is finally freed of its effects— but a powerful primordial entity is released as a consequence, known as the Darkness. After trying and failing to deal with this threat by their usual means, Sam and Dean attempt to contact and use Lucifer. During this confrontation, without their knowledge, Castiel consents to being Lucifer's vessel, certain that it could be the only way to defeat the Darkness, and moreover that he is expendable. He's fully willing to make this sacrifice, believing that he has no contribution to offer simply as himself.
Lucifer is not the key to defeating the Darkness, unfortunately, and so when Lucifer leaves his body and escapes, Castiel shoulders the responsibility of hunting him down and neutralizing him.
Which leads to the events explained in the next section.
SEASON 13~15
There is one last major shift in character that Castiel undergoes: At the end of Season 12, while he's attempting to dispatch Lucifer's unborn Nephilim son so Sam and Dean won't have to suffer the blood of innocents on their hands, he's touched by the Nephilim, Jack's, powers. He's greatly affected by this event, and is immediately beset with a deep loyalty toward this unborn child, as he comes to harbor the belief that Jack will be able to bring about paradise. Dean believes Castiel has been brainwashed.
The thing is, Cas is desperate for anything that could possibly better the world — and his and his friends' lives. After his long string of failures, it's easy to see how he views Jack as a reprieve, a last chance. Where he failed, time and time again, Jack may yet succeed and grant them some peace.
Castiel dies shortly after Jack is born, only to be revived months later. Jack chooses Cas as his parent (alongside Sam and Dean), and Cas tries his best to fulfill this role, although he's often absent due to other responsibilities taking precedence. There is a time when the four of them operate as a mostly functioning family unit, though, and it's possibly the most content any of them have been for a very long time. Unfortunately, this tentative, hopeful future is short-lived. Jack dies and is then revived (at the cost of Castiel making a deal with the Empty, a primordial being, whereby he agrees to be taken by the Empty in place of Jack at the moment when he finally allows himself to be happy). Then Jack loses his soul. These events all have ripple effects that cause greater tragedies to occur, and Castiel incurs yet more trauma.
It should also be noted that he asks Jack not to tell Sam and Dean about his deal with the Empty, because (in his own words) he doesn't want them to be burdened.
This is the deal, of course, that finally kills him.
Obviously, he comes to care greatly for Sam and Dean during the events of the apocalypse. He becomes quite quickly attached to Dean in particular, confessing to him that he has doubts after only a few episodes, and only slightly past the halfway point in Season 4 admitting to Dean that he would "do anything not to have him [torture Alastair]" when Heaven demands it. He falls in the span of just a year, motivated by Dean's insistence that people matter during what would have been their last meeting, and becoming clearly shaken when Dean dean calls him a coward.
While he can initially be quite hard on the both of them, even openly blaming them in Season 5 for allowing the apocalypse to go on unchecked despite his sacrifices, after the apocalypse is averted due to their selflessness in owning up to their mistakes, he now treats them both with unshakable loyalty. (It isn't that he's harsh out of cruelty, but rather he holds himself and others to very high standards. Later, he comes to learn through his own mistakes how to be more understanding of others'.) Despite being in the middle of a civil war in Heaven in Season 6, he always comes when they call (he even insists to this to Dean, at one point), and attends to their needs when he can. Sam is now no longer "the boy with the demon blood", but a close, trusted friend. (Castiel goes so far as to pull him out of Hell in season 6, much as he did for Dean in Season 4, despite the danger.)
The relationship he has with Dean in particular metamorphoses from something emotionally charged and full of potential into a deep friendship built on mutual understanding.
This, of course, shatters when Castiel betrays Sam and Dean in Season 6, and is yet one more reason that Cas goes to such great lengths to find absolution, and in fact promises Dean that he'll redeem himself to him. When Dean finally does forgive Castiel for his wrongdoings, their relationship has become something far, far more complex— Indeed, this forgiveness is immediately proceeded by Dean and Castiel's stint in Purgatory, where Dean 1. Prays to Castiel every night while searching for him, 2. Insists once he does find him that either Castiel will escape with him or neither of them will, 3. Once freed, without Castiel, convinces himself that he let Castiel go, and that it's his fault, even though Cas remained both to punish himself and to make certain that Dean would be saved.
Their insistence on forgiving each other no matter how much they've hurt each other sets a precedent that maintains itself through the length of the story. Continually, Castiel puts himself and his causes and even the greater good aside for Dean. Castiel breaks the Angel Tablet to save Dean, despite its great power and importance to the angels; Castiel allows Dean to beat him bloody and nearly kill him because he refuses to harm him even when he's under the influence of the Mark of Cain; Castiel breaks Donatello's, a friend's, mind when he harms Dean after being corrupted; Castiel beats a helpless Metatron until he's bloody and broken for manipulating him and killing Dean; Castiel tortures at a command from Dean. He even argues with Jack, his adoptive son, when Dean is possessed by Michael, insisting that Dean must be saved at all costs when Jack rightly points out that they must kill Michael no matter what in order to save the Earth.
And this loyalty also eventually extends to Dean's family. Castiel, after unsinking the Titanic, re-sinks it in order to save Sam and Dean from being killed by Atropos, resulting in the deaths of 50,000 people (although Castiel does attempt to reason that they've simply never been born, one wonders if he really believes this based on his weighted hesitation before speaking); Castiel kills a reaper Sam and Dean made a deal with in order to save either of them or their mother from having to give up their lives despite the likelihood of terrible consequences for this action; Castiel admits to another angel, when chasing down Lucifer's unborn Nephilim son and his mother, that he no longer cares about his reputation in Heaven, and merely wishes to prevent Sam or Dean from having to be the one to do the awful task of killing them.
Perhaps it's no surprise to learn Castiel falls deeply in love with Dean. Castiel is able to empathize with Dean in a way that he has never been able to empathize with anyone before, even from the very beginning. Likewise, Dean understands him in a way no one else can. They bond over a shared trauma with regard to their "deadbeat dads" and the way they've been treated as disposable tools for enacting violence, with Dean often drawing parallels between their fathers. This compassion that lights between them is what allows Castiel to become more than the sum of his parts and break free from his stagnant narrative.
Castiel and Dean also simply enjoy each others' company. They are best friends, in Dean's own words. They enjoy spending their free time together, as rare as it is that they're able to do so. They watch movies and television together, Dean shares his music with Cas, and they even eat and drink together despite Cas' inability to taste and alcohol's lack of effect on him.
Further, the faith Castiel loses in God over the course of the story is replaced instead by his faith in Dean, after Dean shows his willingness to sacrifice everything for the greater good while God watches from the sidelines. Miraculously, he doesn't put Dean upon a pedestal despite this, at least not in the sense that he expects perfection from him. Castiel saw Dean at his worst the very moment he met him, when Dean was torturing souls in Hell, after falling to his very lowest. And yet he saw something in Dean even then. He's able to accept and understand Dean's flaws and always forgive his sins, no matter how great they are. Through all the conflict forced upon them by outside sources, (and particularly after the character growth he goes through post-Season 6) he is able to extend a generous amount of patience and kindness toward Dean. He does everything in his power to reach out to him when he feels it's possible for him to make some positive impact, whether that means spending time with him, talking to him about his burdens in an attempt to lighten them, or taking on thankless tasks in his place. His love is all-encompassing and unconditional. Dean extends the same generosity. Even though it may take him longer to work his way through his feelings and find his way to forgiveness, he always offers Castiel the absolution he desires. He loves Castiel, and considers him his family, and Castiel finds some little peace in this.
But their relationship also quickly becomes codependent as a result, and codependency breeds toxicity.
Because Dean is equally self-sacrificial, they often fight about what to do in a scenario. Likewise, Cas is willing to go to any lengths necessary to keep Dean alive, sometimes even against Dean's wishes, and justifies doing so by adopting the belief that Dean is so truly good for the world that by protecting him he is de facto fighting for the greater good (which causes him, as mentioned before, to often set aside the greater good for Dean's sake). This consequentially amplifies his self-harming, self-sacrificial nature, by giving him further purpose to righteously hurt himself, since he believes Dean is worth much more than he is. For this same reason, Castiel will go out of his way to do difficult, dangerous tasks so that the brothers aren't "burdened", or correspondingly hide his own troubles. This results in him not only putting himself in unnecessary danger, but also in being absent from their lives and/or keeping secrets from them. Dean is often hurt by this. He feels that he is being rejected when Castiel is absent, as he has often been discarded by his loved ones, which results in conflict between them. Unfortunately, Castiel also fears overstaying his welcome and summarily being rejected by Dean, so when Dean lashes out he often feels his fears have been confirmed, and that his presence is merely a burden.
Because they are both so entrenched in these harmful mindsets, the cycle never ends.
Castiel always has the best intentions. That's never more true than it is regarding Dean. He wants nothing more than for Dean to have a good and full life. But they're both at the mercy of a world that never once pauses in its assault on their sense of self-esteem, so that they're simply never granted the chance to better themselves. Instead, their only option is to fight tooth and nail to keep what they have or lose everything.
Castiel's relationship with Sam is more straightforward. They are close friends, even best friends by Dean's definition, and consider each other family. It's not just Dean's love of the world, but Dean's love for Sam, that causes Castiel to see that humanity has worth, even though it takes him a while to warm up to Sam because of Sam's demon-related extracurricular activities. Once he does, though, he's willing to kill and die for Sam the same as he does for Dean.
Castiel is self-sacrificing almost as a rule, even from the very beginning. It seems to be almost "hard coded" into his personality, although it's likely a side-effect of the way rank and file angels are treated as disposable objects by their superiors (and even God himself). He has been dehumanized this way for all of his very, very long existence.
Castiel dies many times throughout the series. Most of these deaths are sacrifices. (His first death is a conscious sacrifice, to allow Dean time to stop Sam from opening the final seal to release Lucifer. Likewise, his final death is a conscious sacrifice, to allow Dean to go on living.) He also constantly takes risks that don't but could result in his death, such as when trying to warn Dean about what the angels are really up to during the apocalypse before he's taken to Heaven and tortured, or choosing in Season 9 to become an angel again by taking the grace of another angel, even knowing that when this foreign grace burns out it will kill him. He also serves himself up in ways that are completely unnecessary, such as when he offers to go to Dean's death with him, simply to accompany him in his last moments. While he'll fight tooth and nail when placed in life or death situations, and claw his way back from death to return to those he loves (When trapped in the Empty, he insists his family needs him, and this appears to be his main motivation to escape) there is never a time when he is not incredibly reckless with his own life, and from the end of Season 6 onward, he believes that experiencing suffering and even potentially his death is necessary for him to make penance.
In this way, he seems to subconsciously seek death. As an act of penance, a release from the life he feels he's failed, or both. (Notably, he does mention to Dean once, in Season 8, that he's afraid he might kill himself if he sees the damage he wrought in Heaven, which at the very least illustrates that although he may not always be actively suicidal, if he is in a low enough place he could consider it. The Empty also tells him, in Season 13, that he doesn't want to go back to living after reading his mind, which also seems to suggest that some part of him yearns to rest, even if he won't allow himself to give into it.)
He's a deeply self-destructive person.
Unsurprisingly, Castiel has terribly low self-esteem. Although unlike his self-sacrificing nature, this isn't something he begins with. He does demand a lot from himself, and he holds himself initially to very high standards. After he falls he's quite dismissive of his angelic nature, going as far as to take pot shots at himself over it, and later lashing out at Sam and Dean for their complicity in his loss of it. This perhaps heralds the change. But it's only after his betrayal that it truly sets in.
It doesn't take much extrapolation to understand he believes he's worthless. His willingness to sacrifice himself for the Winchesters makes it more than obvious. He calls himself "nothing". When Dean insists to Castiel that he isn't weak, Castiel simply doesn't respond. He often makes no effort to pursue friendships or relationships with other people, except in very rare cases when the desire crosses over with his sense of responsibility (as with Claire or Jack). He beats himself up endlessly over his own failures. When he's told that he's expendable, he believes it. His self esteem is so poor, in fact, that God goes so far as to call him "The Self-Hating Angel of Thursday".
This affects his relationships, as previously stated, but it also affects the rest of his life as well. He makes no attempt to pursue his own happiness, and does little to assuage his great loneliness. He has no hobbies, no real personal life of his own outside of Sam and Dean's sphere or the angels' abusive hold over him. He is incredibly isolated in this sense. He often hinges his self-worth on what he can do for Dean. In Season 12, when Dean is angry with him for once again leaving for a long time with no contact, Castiel admits that "[he] just needed to come back here with a win for [him]".
Unfortunately for Castiel, he never truly succeeds in the way that he wishes to until he's sacrificing his life for Dean for the very last time.
Although Castiel is very cold when he's introduced, he warms over the years, especially with Sam and Dean and the people they're friendly with, and others who he feels responsible for. (For example, in Season 5, he goes so far as to tell Dean that he has no faith in him, though granted he does apologize later. Several seasons after this, he's insisting to Dean that he's a good role model, despite Dean disagreeing with him and this possibly being objectively untrue. He also does things such as buying Claire a stuffed animal for her birthday, or making coffee at the bunker for Sam and Dean.) Other characters often liken him to the Winchesters' pet or attack dog, which isn't an entirely unsuitable description despite its derogatory nature. He is "tamed", in a manner, particularly by Dean's humanizing influence. Although his capacity for empathy is implied to be something inborn (according to Naomi's insistence that he is "cracked")— he's capable of being incredibly thoughtful, and ends up displaying a great capacity for kindness. (On one occasion, after helping Sam and Dean solve a case at an old folks home that involved an older friend of their fathers that results in said friend becoming catatonic, he chooses to stay behind several days to watch over him.)
Dean and Sam (and later, Jack), are his first priority, but he will go out of his way for those he feels responsible for no matter how tenuous their connection, and when he sees those in need, he will put forth his every effort to help them if he has the means.
He's emotionally honest in a way Sam and Dean usually aren't. He doesn't know to feel awkwardness or self-consciousness at plumbing others about their feelings or offering support, and so he doesn't. (Unlike Sam and Dean, who were both raised to be rather repressed about expressing their own emotions, although Sam isn't quite as bad about it as Dean is. There is a moment in Season 14, for example, where he coaxes Dean into admitting that he isn't fine with the current harrowing circumstances so he can offer his emotional support, and he does this several times throughout the series.) It's not always something he's particularly good at, but he does extend himself with a certain vulnerability. He can be quite sweet in this.
Contrarily, he doesn't have much emotional maturity when it comes to interpersonal relationships, owing to a long life lived in Heaven, where emotions were forbidden and outright denied. He also lacks self-awareness for the same reason, and that can lead him to acting in selfishly even when he believes he's acting in the best interests of other people. (He saves Claire, his vessel's daughter, from a bad situation, and he does genuinely wish to help her, but his driving motivation is assuaging his own guilt over what happened to her because of his actions.) He can become myopic and tunnel-visioned, especially when under duress. He's self-righteous, and also a bit of a hypocrite at times, capable of forgiving Sam and Dean for acts he would condemn others for without hesitation.
He also retains much of his pragmatism when applied to people and situations outside of his bubble. He's not above threatening, using violence, torturing, or killing to get what he wants if he believes he's justified in doing so. He will kill to prevent harm, even if the harm is unintentional. He on one occasion tortures a child (by touching their soul) to find the culprit who gave them a powerful weapon. Although he hesitates to kill innocents, he is the one who decides that Kelly Kline and her unborn child must die, and almost succeeds in sending them their to their deaths. He's also not above hurting the helpless if he feels they deserve it, if his assault on Metatron after Metatron has been made human is anything to go by. And he routinely threatens people with violence even if they absolutely don't deserve it, like when he picked up the cashier by the collar for not having any pie for Dean, or if he only thinks they deserve it and has no proof, such as on multiple occasions when Dean has to hold him back from assaulting suspects on cases. This can, on occasion, make his relationship with Sam and Dean very dangerous. It also makes him on his own very dangerous.
It wouldn't be inaccurate to say that he has his own unique brand of ethics. The term "blue and orange morality" may apply. Originally, like most angels, he prioritizes the bigger picture above all else because he has no other point of reference. And although his worldview is altered, he still has a tendency to think more broadly than either Sam or Dean. This often leads to him behaving in ways that imply he believes the ends justify the means, and sometimes arguing with them as a result. (Dean is not happy with Castiel for having to 'torture' a child for information, or for breaking Donatello's mind because he is a danger.) His hypocrisy also makes a return here, as he's not above doing things that he may condemn others for, like hurting the innocent. He may acknowledge this and feel guilt, but if he believes something must be done, he won't hesitate to do it.
Because Castiel has lived for so long, and because he is an inhuman creature, this tends to put him in a position where he subtly assumes moral superiority even though he has not earned it. His naivety and emotional immaturity can also play a role in twisting his intentions, as it causes him to act without necessarily understanding the full consequences of his actions (like when he pulled Claire from her foster home, assuming she would choose to accompany him, only for her to run away and put herself in danger). He can be reckless and refuse to think things through, or find himself getting swept up in his emotions (for instance, when he attempted to attack Lucifer unnecessarily despite knowing there's not a single thing he could do to hurt him).
The same naivety also imparts a certain purity to his actions, though. It can be difficult to blame him when he believes so completely in his causes, and doesn't see their pitfalls. He truly wishes to do good, and places a great emphasis on shouldering burdens so that others won't have to. He is also very serious about making penance when he makes mistakes.
This all leaves him in an unfortunate position, where he desires to bestow mercy and grace while also, in many ways, always remaining the pitiless soldier of God he's been from the beginning.
He's also awkward, blunt, and rude, both purposefully and accidentally, is more than a little bit sarcastic, and always maintains a sort of distance from humanity despite his regard for life. He misunderstands social cues, struggles with reading people, and is oftentimes pretty, as mentioned before, naive. He can be fairly dramatic and childish at times, too (pouting when Dean insults him or insulting him back just as pettily; rolling his eyes; refusing to set aside grudges; etc.). While he's still reserved even after his Fall, he is reactive, and occasionally explodes with emotion (for example, when he meets Gadreel and immediately begins screaming at him for ruining the world, despite Gadreel's current incarceration having nothing to do with that).
What's more, he has an unfathomable amount of unprocessed trauma. He experiences persistent occurrences of violence, abuse, and death. The experience of killing so many of his own kind, in particular, is responsible for a great majority of his anguish. It's also responsible for his nearly complete loss of self-esteem, which feeds into the following issue—
The violations of his bodily and personal autonomy that have occurred repeatedly over the course of his life, in particular during his time on Earth, leading to a weakening and sometimes even complete collapse of his self-ownership. He is used often, and often mercilessly. His enemies rip his self-determination away with either glee or indifference, viewing him as no more than an object. Such as the angels torturing him for trying to warn Sam and Dean in Season 4; Naomi brainwashing him, manipulating him, and torturing him in Season 8 (which included scenarios such as: Castiel being forced to kill Dean thousands of times in a training exercise meant to prepare him for the real thing; Castiel rescuing an angel from torture in a desperate bid to save at least one of his own kind, only for Naomi to force him to kill said angel; Naomi torturing and killing many innocents in order to catch Castiel when he runs from her influence.); Metatron manipulating him in Seasons 9 and 10 (in situations such as Metatron ripping Castiel's grace from him in order to render him human for the sake of his "story"; Metatron pretending to be Gabriel in order to offer Castiel the kind of familial affection that he's so hungry for, only to rip it away once Castiel realizes the lie; Metatron setting up Castiel with an angelic army only to humiliate him in front of them and take them as his own army; Metatron killing Dean and gloating to Castiel about his failure to save him.); Lucifer taking advantage of Castiel's weaknesses and possessing him, and then digging his claws in so deep that he no longer has any desire to even express his own autonomy; Rowena casting the Attack Dog spell on Castiel with the intention of having him kill Crowley, only to leave him in that state, in pain and slowly dying.
This is especially true of Heaven and his many adversaries, clearly— but his allies, despite their good intentions, often take advantage of his need to help and unintentionally confirm his feelings of worthlessness and lack of personal freedom. In particular, when either Sam or Dean are undergoing some trial that forces them to act in desperation, they have a tendency to ignore his needs. Throughout Season 6, Sam and Dean often ask for Cas' help despite that he's in the midst of commanding an army during Heaven's civil war. (Cas actually calls them out on their behavior, as do some other angels, although this will be one of the last times that this happens.) In Season 7, Dean is understandably still angry with Castiel for his betrayal in Season 6, but after Castiel experiences a mental break from taking Sam's affliction into his own mind, Dean goes as far as leaving the (now catatonic) Castiel in Meg's (a demon's) care, and later (when he's struggling with the mental fallout) telling him that "No one cares that [he's] broken". In Season 8, when Castiel is suffering from Naomi's brainwashing and flees with the Angel Tablet to protect himself, Dean takes this personally and completely rejects his apology despite being aware of the situation he was in. In Season 9, Sam is held hostage by an angel possessing him, who demands Dean kick out a now human Castiel. Dean, in his infinite wisdom /s, doesn't tell Castiel why he's forcing him out, leaving Castiel to assume he's no longer needed in his mortal state. After this he then struggles with homelessness. In Season 11, when Castiel allows Lucifer to possess him because of his feelings of uselessness, Sam insists that because it is his own choice, they should respect this decision, despite the obvious danger Lucifer poses to Cas (even after Sam summarily rejected Lucifer himself).
This continues Castiel's pattern of being used. Often in some way he holds himself responsible for what his enemies have done to him due to his weakened sense of self, while refusing to blame his loved ones even when they are culpable. (As an example, he shows great remorse for hurting Dean under the influence of the Attack Dog spell, but doesn't hold any ill will toward Dean for attacking him under the influence of the Mark of Cain. He also blames himself for Lucifer being freed after possessing him and goes to great lengths to remediate the problem. And so on.) His guilt then leads him to continue to search for ways to be useful, in order to confirm his autonomy— which results in his being used again and again. Of course, it's likely his desire to be useful is entrenched from his time in Heaven, or even perhaps a basic tenant of his psychology, and that even if he could slough off some of his self-blame he would still harbor the deep need to be affirmed in this manner.
His trauma then presents in a number of ways: as depression, a continued lowering of his self-esteem, fits of anxiety, and occasionally, rage-induced violence when something comes along to trigger it, (such as Metatron's gleeful ridicule). He does understand when he is being used, and harbors a great deal of sadness and anger over this. Unfortunately, he never learns to process his pain in a healthy way. While he can reconcile with the idea that he has been exploited, he still struggles to believe he does not deserve it. It's a conflicted, desperate, unending struggle.
It's also unsustainable.
OUTRO
Ultimately, Castiel wants nothing more to redeem himself, but he is so deeply entrenched in his own warped self-image that he's incapable of believing he deserves redemption no matter how much he pays for what he's done. There are glimmers of hope and lightness in his life, but these are often quickly snatched away from him. This doesn't stop him from acting for the greater good, but it does have a continued negative effect on his mental health. He is not a happy person, and struggles to believe that he deserves happiness at all. His only peace is to be found in Sam and Dean's familiar and comforting presence, but his self-hatred also complicates these relationships.
His longing for Dean and belief that Dean can't, or even shouldn't, reciprocate his feelings confuses matters even further. Castiel eventually comes to believe that the only way he could find happiness is to be with Dean (in a romantic sense), but he refuses to pursue it.
In the end, when Castiel and Dean are being hunted by Death (as in, the supernatural being), Castiel sacrifices himself for Dean after confessing his feelings, as it's the only thing he believes is capable of bringing him true happiness (necessary for him to trigger the deal with the Empty, which is what allows him to save Dean from Death). It's an example of the complex nature of his relationship with himself, that his greatest moment of triumph involves the ultimate self-sacrifice, and a confession that the recipient can't possibly, because of the nature of the situation, reciprocate. To gut himself completely is his last and final act of penance, and the only way he believes he can ever find, or even deserve, peace.
APPEARANCE
VESSEL
Castiel's vessel appears as a white male in his 30s, 5"11'-6"0', of average height and build. He has short and somewhat messy dark brown hair, with bangs that are usually styled up. He has a round, mild face with deep set blue eyes and heavy lids, a straight nose, delicate cheekbones, an angular jaw, and strong chin, which has a slight cleft. He has an ever present veneer of dark stubble along his jawline and upper lip, and his mouth is pink and shapely, with a pronounced cupid's bow.
He wears a wrinkled black suit, tan trench coat, an (often backwards) tie (either solid dark blue, or lighter blue with white stripes), and black ankle boots with dark socks. He's very rarely seen wearing anything else, except on occasions where he's become human for a brief period of time or his identity is otherwise in question.
As an angel, he also sports a large pair of feathered wings. Although they're rarely shown, and even on the occasions when they are seen, only seen as shadowy projections, it is stated that they are always there— they simply aren't normally visible to human eyes.
As an angel, he also sports a large pair of feathered wings. Although they're rarely shown, and even on the occasions when they are seen, only seen as shadowy projections, it is stated that they are always there— they simply aren't normally visible to human eyes.
TRUE FORM
Castiel also has a true form that isn't capable of being seen by most humans. Some "special" individuals can view it when he isn't inhabiting a vessel, but most humans' (and demons') eyes would be burnt out on witnessing this form. What it actually looks like is a mystery. (Although we do know it's the size of the Chrysler Building, which when considering the descriptions of many angels in biblical apocrypha... isn't actually that big for an angel.) Another angel of similar rank, Zachariah, gives a description of his own true form that aligns with descriptions of Cherubim, which is incredibly confusing because Cherubim, in SPN's lore, are considered the same as Cupids, even though Cupids hail from Roman/Greek mythology and are only popularly conflated with Cherubim due to Putto and their unfixed iconography. Which frustrates me to no end but let's not get into that. That is to say... SPN lore doesn't even try to follow the rules, aside from the general assertion that Archangels are more powerful than Seraphim, and Seraphim are more powerful than "regular" angels.
Which means that Castiel's true form could have any possible appearance.
Cas also gets "upgraded" from regular angel to Seraph at the end of Season 5, which brings up even more questions. Does his true form change? This is never addressed, of course.
Personally, I generally describe his true form either as an Ophanim (with the addition of six wings after his upgrade), or as the more modern depictions of Seraphim ie. many eyed many wing'd beings with no humanoid features. While I do have lore reasons for this, mostly I just prefer these depictions because they're cool.
Additionally to this, Castiel's wings are damaged at the end of Season 8. When we see them again, they seem to be constantly shedding feathers, with the bones of the wing arm visible through them. Since Castiel's wings are an extension of his true form, it's likely his true form has been badly damaged as well, although this is never brought up in the series itself.
Which means that Castiel's true form could have any possible appearance.
Cas also gets "upgraded" from regular angel to Seraph at the end of Season 5, which brings up even more questions. Does his true form change? This is never addressed, of course.
Personally, I generally describe his true form either as an Ophanim (with the addition of six wings after his upgrade), or as the more modern depictions of Seraphim ie. many eyed many wing'd beings with no humanoid features. While I do have lore reasons for this, mostly I just prefer these depictions because they're cool.
Additionally to this, Castiel's wings are damaged at the end of Season 8. When we see them again, they seem to be constantly shedding feathers, with the bones of the wing arm visible through them. Since Castiel's wings are an extension of his true form, it's likely his true form has been badly damaged as well, although this is never brought up in the series itself.
BACKSTORY
He is referred to by beings in the know as the angel with "a crack in his chassis", and is implied to have been "defective" from the date of his creation.